Spongebob Squarepants FanFiction : Dinner At Spongebob’s

Worried that he might be fired for a huge accident that happened, Spongebob invites Mr.Krabs and Pearl to dine with him for an evening to share relations and everything goes smoothly until Patrick and Squidward arrive bringing Chaos.

The Story

The FanFiction begins at The Krusty Krab. Squidward is in the corner crying after looking at a magazine with Squilliam on it and he can't stop looking at his rival. Spongebob is in the Kitchen, it's a very slow day, noon time, and not one customer.

SPONGEBOB: Huh? I wonder where all the customers went to? Squidward!!!!

Squidward stops his crying and gets annoyed.


SPONGEBOB: How you doing?

SQUIDWARD: Oh just dandy! NOT!

SPONGEBOB: Can I make you feel better? I got nothing else to do?

SQUIDWARD: No! Now leave me alone!

SPONGEBOB: Actually one more question!

SQUIDWARD(groaning) : … Neptune, please kill me now.

SPONGEBOB: Where is Mr.K?

SQUIDWARD: Probably in his office taking his usual stupid cash baths.

Spongebob opens the door to Krabs’ office but Krabs isn’t in there, it’s darkened in there like nobody entered inside this morning.

SPONGEBOB: Where could he have gone to?

SQUIDWARD: Actually better question, would you listen to these three words?


SQUIDWARD: Okay good, here it goes, …. GO AWAY NOW!!!!


Spongebob prances off.

SQUIDWARD: What a simpleton.

Squidward then kicks back ready to go take a nap but he is disturbed from it by soap falling on him.

SQUIDWARD: Ughhh!! What the?!

He looks up to see Spongebob on the ceiling cleaning it.


SPONGEBOB: Hold on Squidward! I got to clean this salty nasty barnacle on this piece of cardboard wood!

Spongebob scrubs it but gets nowhere making more soap as well as wood shavings fall onto Squidward’s big bald head. Squidward is fuming with rage now and climbs up onto the crows nest.

Squidward then scales on the ceiling sticking to it with his suction cups. He is going to grab Spongebob and clobber him.

SQUIDWARD: Meet your maker you BEAST OF BURDEN!!

Before he can get the young innocent Sponge, Mr.Krabs walks in the front door.

MR.KRABS: Ahoy lads! I am back from my pedicure!

Scene shows a close up of Mr.Krabs’ toenails now polished green with dollar signs on them.

MR.KRABS: Now.. What're doing on the ceiling?

The ceiling answers for Mr.Krabs itself by imploding down onto ground level due to always being on a weak support system that can’t support the weight of a broom, Spongebob and Squidward at the same time. Smoke engulfs the setting before clearing up showing The Krusty Krab’s walls and other stuff still standing but what is supposed to be the dining room is now instead a room full of destroyed ceiling and roof.

Spongebob and Squidward pop up from the wreckage first and both cough. Mr.Krabs finally surfaces. Spongebob goes to him.

SPONGEBOB: Are you okay Mr.K?!

MR.KRABS: No I am not, you featherbrain! You and Squid know that ceiling was weak since you started working here!

SPONGEBOB: I know, I’m so sorry!

SQUIDWARD: Sweet, since the ceiling is destroyed, I get a day off!

MR.KRABS: Apparently ye do… Well, at least me toenails are still okay!

Scene shows Krabs’ toenails but then they begin to crack and eventually break showing extremely aged brownish yellow and chipped toenails with fungus growing around the sides. Oh boy, do they smell, even worse than Athlete’s Foot. 

Squidward grabs his mouth.

SQUIDWARD: I think I’m going to be sick!

He then vomits and passes out from the disturbing sight and smell.

Spongebob’s eyes and nose melt off.


Krabs begins crying before getting a grip.


Spongebob grows back his eyes and nose and is hysterical with grief.


MR.KRABS: Why did he? To get you down from there!!!

Spongebob cries. Squidward regains consciousness.

MR.KRABS: Uh oh! Brace for impact!

Spongebob’s tears form a tsunami and it rampages through the city.


The tsunami drops Krabs off at his house. Patrick was sleeping on top of his rock with saliva in his mouth and the tsunami hits it making his mouth even more watery. He doesn't wake up and stays in the same place with water drooling as low as his pelvis now. Squidward is sent flying into his gallery screaming landing into his paint equipment. The tsunami finally dissipates and Spongebob enters his house and slams his door angrily and sadly.

The scene cuts to 3:50 PM, Spongebob has mostly improved his mood but is still slightly upset at the thought of being on probation now, but with his good nature, he holds no grudges against Squidward. Spongebob is getting ready to cook tacos for his dinner.

A bored Gary finishes chewing on his rubber ball and goes up to Spongebob hungry for tacos. Gary loves em.

GARY: Meow

SPONGEBOB: I know Gary, you'll get your tacos, don’t worry! But they won’t be ready until say 5? I like to take my time.

GARY: Meow Meow Meoww Mrowwwwww

SPONGEBOB: Why am I downnnnn? Well.. I'd rather not talk about it.

GARY: Meow

SPONGEBOB: Well, if you insist, then in this case, Mr.Krabs put me on probation and now I can’t enjoy work for what it can truly be. 

Spongebob sniffles but gets a grip.

SPONGEBOB: It was Squidward’s fault but I don't want enemies, so he is forgiven. My big problem is this though, what if more than probation takes effect?

GARY: Meow

SPONGEBOB: Why? Well, I'll tell you why, there’s no more roof to The Krusty Krab, it's gonzo, bye bye, see you later, which might be my job as well, there’s no way I can get out of this predicament! It’s so unfair!

Spongebob sniffles again until getting hit in the face with a frying pan by Gary to control himself.

SPONGEBOB: Ow! His nose beats up and down and turns red. He however thanks his snail by preventing another tsunami. Thanks, Gare-Bear. Well, taco time.

Gary slithers into the living room ready to go take one of the 20 naps he takes at the pineapple per day but then gets a better idea. He slithers like a race car into the treasure chest in Spongebob’s bedroom.

Gary throws out a couple of Spongebob’s old childhood toys, a hair wig and Squidward’s toilet paper. Gary finally pulls out the only item he needs, a phone book. Gary examines the book and dials a number which Spongebob, who is defrosting the meat in his microwave, notices.

SPONGEBOB: Gary, what are you up to? You better not be calling your snail friends again!

Gary isn’t. He is instead calling Mr.Krabs.

The scene cuts to Mr.Krabs’ house, Krabs has calmed down and is relaxing in a tub full of soapy water with his feet dangling out the edge, getting another pedicure from a disgusted Pearl, who wants to finish as soon as possible. Suddenly, the phone next to Krabs rings.

MR.KRABS: Errgh… Pearl, take five.

PEARL: About time!!! I need to wash off these old people fungus germs!!! Before I grow old!!!

Pearl runs off crying hoping she stays young forever. Krabs rolls his eyes and answers.

MR.KRABS: Okay listen City Hall! I ain’t paying any of those government taxes or my electricity payments, so QUIT..

Gary interrupts him.

GARY: Meow

MR.KRABS: Oh.. it’s you Gary… What do you want?

GARY: Meow Meow Meow Meow

MR.KRABS: What am I doing? I’m getting a pedicure, after your featherbrained owner ruined my previous one! How’d you get my number anyways?

GARY: Meow Meow

MR.KRABS: Phone Book? Wait, one that has Plankton on the back cover trying to dominate the food chain?

GARY: Meow

Gary takes a red crayon from his shell and colors over a picture of an evilly laughing Plankton crushing all other fast food places on the back of the phone book. 

MR.KRABS: No? Okay good, well, what do you need?

GARY: Meow Meow Meow Meow

MR.KRABS: Are you firing anybody? Maybe, who knows. If I am, I’m betting my money on Squidward…. he reeks of barnacles! Arrgh! Arrgh!

GARY: Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow

MR.KRABS: Well Spongebob is having dinner and you and Pearl are invited? Do I get money?!

GARY: Meow

MR.KRABS: Yes!!! Whoopee!!!! I’ll be right over!!!! But…. before I am, tell Spongebob that I just got another pedicure and if he ruins this one, more than probation happens. Okay? Okay! Good! See ya.

Krabs hangs up and yells for Pearl to come and finish polishing his index toe. Gary hangs up and slithers into Spongebob’s kitchen where Spongebob is chopping up the tomatoes, onions, bell peppers and lettuce for the tacos. Spongebob notices him.

SPONGEBOB: Who’d you call Gary? It couldn't have been a snail friend, you wouldn't talk that long.

GARY: Meow Meow

SPONGEBOB: Mr.Krabs? Oh no! He didn't fire me did he?!!

Spongebob begins to have a panic attack and wheezing, he can’t find his inhaler.

GARY: Meow

SPONGEBOB: No? Phew! Good! Well… what did you and him say?

GARY: Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow

SPONGEBOB: You invited him for dinner? That’s splendid!!! Good idea Gary!!! If I can whip up a good evening taco meal for Mr.K, I can sure keep my job!!!

GARY: Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow

SPONGEBOB: He is also getting a pedicure right now?

GARY: Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow 

SPONGEBOB: He will be here later?

GARY: Meow Meow Meow Meow

SPONGEBOB: Don’t ruin the pedicure?

GARY: Meow Meow Meow

SPONGEBOB: Or you’ll be fired?

GARY: Meow Meow

SPONGEBOB: See ya? Huh.. well, I have to be careful then, otherwise this will ruin my job! In this case, I must get on the get-go with these tacos!

Spongebob begins going crazy with cooking tacos. Gary slithers back into the living room and goes on the couch now really taking a nap this time.

The scene cuts to 4:30 PM, another half hour until the meal is ready and until Krabs gets to the pineapple. Spongebob is hastily preparing his famous beef noodle stew and also trying new recipes, Gary has finished his nap and is using his eyestalks to shoot a recurve bow, shooting arrows at pictures of Squidward. Suddenly, Patrick Star barges into the pineapple with toilet paper stuck onto his foot.


SPONGEBOB: Oh hey Patrick, what’s up?


SPONGEBOB: Oh sorry, I forgot.

PATRICK: Lie! A best friend helps out his resident idiot by making sure his tummy is well-fed, DONALD TRUMP WON’T DO IT!

SPONGEBOB: First of all, don't bring the president up, and second of all, you're here now, so you can eat in a half hour!

PATRICK: But me want food now!


Patrick sniffles until Spongebob rolls a jar of cookies. Patrick notices it hit his foot and he says…


SPONGEBOB: Oh before you eat those cookies, you have toilet paper on your foot.

Patrick finally notices it, he tries to grab the end but it leads him outside, where he, Spongebob and Gary notice a very long toilet paper trail which leads into Patrick’s rock and into his bathroom, where there is tons of toilet paper clogged inside and the toilet is overflowing. 


Spongebob kneels down and cuts the trail near Pat’s foot with his buck teeth.

SPONGEBOB(To Patrick) : Easy on the TP.

PATRICK: But you already told me not to bring up TP, aka, The President, aka, Donald Trump, oh wait…

SPONGEBOB: Why don't you eat your cookies?


Patrick runs onto the house grabbing his cookie jar during the run and lays down on Spongebob’s couch and sticks the entire jar into his mouth after opening it and devours everything inside. Patrick swallows, burps, farts and then falls asleep.

4:45 PM…

SPONGEBOB: Oh snap! 15 minutes to go! I need to get going on the bell tomato soup!

Spongebob runs into the Kitchen while a now awakened Patrick says…

PATRICK: Did somebody mention bell tomato soup?

Spongebob begins mashing tomatoes, bell peppers, etc, together while Patrick follows inside watching and smiling and licking his lips, which Gary also does.

4:50 PM - Mr.Krabs kisses his money goodbye for the time being until they reunite after dinner. Pearl is still washing “old people germs” off her nails.

Spongebob gets the dumplings going and manages to stop Patrick from devouring the recently cooked pumpkin pie.

4:55 PM - Mr.Krabs and Pearl get in their boatmobile and begin driving to Spongebob’s house, which is 1,000 yards away.

Spongebob has now gotten the bell tomato soup, dumplings, fried Potatas and seaweed Nachos finished while Patrick munches on some twinkies to distract him from eating the main course.

Mr.Krabs and Pearl pull up into Spongebob’s driveway while Squidward sunbathes outside.

MR.KRABS : Ahoy, Mr.Squidward!

Squidward turns his head towards the crabby cheapskate while wearing sunglasses and says…

SQUIDWARD : Blehhhh…

Squidward goes back to sleep and continues to reflect sunlight on his blue boney body. 

MR.KRABS : See Pearlie, I told you he reeks of barnacles! Arrgh! Arrgh! Arrgh! Arrgh!

PEARL : Wow your jokes are so coral, not, NOW can we enter the pineapple and eat dinner already, I'm supposed to take Billy Fishkins to the Gossip Festival tonight! I NEED MY SOCIAL LIFE!!! WHICH IS NOT BEING AROUND OLDER PEOPLE!!!

MR.KRABS : Get a grip…

Mr.Krabs and Pearl walk to the door, Squidward overheard Pearl’s tantrum and responds…

SQUIDWARD : Drama Queen

Spongebob is just about to finish the Guacamole when he hears the door click.

SPONGEBOB : Oh man, oh man!! Patrick! Hold the door shut, I need two more minutes!



PATRICK : Oh! I can do that!

Patrick runs to the door and begins touching the knob, albeit weirdly.

Mr.Krabs notices on the outside.

MR.KRABS : Arrgh, blasted door, not budging! Like a big pink lummox is leaning on it or something?

PEARL : Try banging it down.

MR.KRABS : No, but I can kick it down!

PEARL : But I just said tha...oh never mind, old people are losers.

Mr.Krabs backs up ten feet…

Spongebob has 45 seconds left on his timer

SPONGEBOB : Come on, come on, come on!

Mr.Krabs runs toward the door screaming…

Spongebob counts down the meal from 20 seconds and counting

Mr.Krabs kicks the door in but it doesn't totally fall yet

Patrick has fallen asleep

Gary is watching the suspense eating popcorn

Pearl texts her boyfriend

Squidward Smells…

10 seconds..

The door is almost kicked down…

5.. 4..

Mr.Krabs gets angrier and the door is about to touch the ground

Patrick is still asleep and getting crushed

3.. 2.. 1..

The door is down, Mr.Krabs and Pearl walk in, Patrick wakes up and gets out underneath. Mr.Krabs arrives in the Kitchen just in time to see the tacos and everything else all ready on the dinner table, Patrick sits down and licks his lips and tongue. Gary is dressed formally, same for Spongebob.

SPONGEBOB : Table for two?

MR.KRABS : Spongebob? Why ye talking funny?

SPONGEBOB : Just want to cater a nice meal to my special boss!

MR.KRABS : Hmmmmm…

 Now Krabs smiles and sits down. Spongebob and Pearl do the same.

SPONGEBOB : How are you Pearl?

PEARL : Fine, I guess, what's it to you?

SPONGEBOB : Just wondering.. :)


PEARL : You mean rumbling?


SPONGEBOB : Patrick, calm it down, well, let's eat.

Spongebob, due to being on a diet, eats some lettuce and so does Pearl, who is a vegan. Mr.Krabs munches on a taco happily knowing it is free and Patrick is sucking in 35% of the rest of the meal into his mouth like a vacuum cleaner. Gary chews on seaweed beef stew.

5:30 PM…

MR.KRABS : I must say Spongebob, I am very impressed, it is almost as good as the Krabby Patty, although not quite.

SPONGEBOB : Well, I can make it better, uhhh

MR.KRABS : No, no, don’t worry lad, it was very delectable! Arrgh! Arrgh!

SPONGEBOB : Well said!

Mr.Krabs then notices Pearl pacing by the front door, all nervous.

MR.KRABS : Pearlie, what’s wrong?

PEARL : Turns out that instead of the Gossip Festival, I am invited to a pool party and it starts at 6, in a half hour, the house is 29 minutes away and I am FREAKING OUT!! Can we go already?!

MR.KRABS : Well Spongebob, I have to go, cuz, Pearl can’t drive.

PEARL : Liar!

MR.KRABS : …..Well see ya, lad.


MR.KRABS : What?


SPONGEBOB : You need desert, beverages and all style pampering!

MR.KRABS : A what?

PEARL : Catering Dad, but no thanks Spongebob, a pool party that starts in 28 minutes will be more suitable for me.

SPONGEBOB : Well, I got this free money in the closet and…


Mr.Krabs runs at the speed of Speedy Gonzales and showers in several piles of money and enjoys himself.


SPONGEBOB : Well Mr.Krabs, I mean’t that you can take it home with you.

MR.KRABS : Yippie! But first I must count it all! I need to reach a trillion dollars soon!

Pearl’s eye twitches and she approaches her overwhelmed with happiness and greed Dad and reaches into his back pocket grabbing his boat keys.

MR.KRABS : PEARLIE! GIVE ME BACK MY.. oh, money, money, money!

Pearl runs out to the boat after Mr.Krabs goes back to counting his money. She drives although she bumps into a fire hydrant, a lamppost and Old Man Jenkins in the process.

OLD MAN JENKINS : I don't want to be a burden...



Spongebob begins to panic and then sees Patrick going upstairs to the roof as night  begins to fall. Spongebob follows and sees Patrick plugging his i-Pod into a receiver.



Patrick's hands play the most irritating song ever in reaction to being fear stricken, the song is, “Twinkle Twinkle Patrick Star.”

The I-Pod volume is maxed up to as loud as possible. The annoying song begins sending shockwaves sending Spongebob off the roof, some money to topple over Mr.Krabs and Patrick falls through the roof and crashes through three floors before landing into Spongebob’s living room, of which he munches on a cookie pillow. Gary puts on headphones and sleeps like usual.

The shockwaves go through the whole town annoying all of the denizens, but not to the extent of Squidward.

Squidward is taking a bath and can't stand the sound of the song.


Squidward then looks out of his window and realizes that the irritating music is coming from Spongebob’s house.

The scene cuts to Squidward entering his bedroom, mostly naked, with just his lower body covered in soap bubbles like it was in “Squid On Strike.”

SQUIDWARD : Errrghhh!

A self-portrait of Squidward falls onto his big bald head.


Squidward is calling Spongebob.


The phone rings but nobody picks up due to Twinkle draining out the sound.

After a few rings, Squidward angrily hangs up. He throws a shirt on, gets the bubbles off and then exits his house and runs towards Spongebob’s with a sledgehammer in hand. Before he could go and clobber Spongebob, who is throwing water toward the I-Pod to stop the music, Patrick opens the door making Squidward slam into it, sledgehammer to the face.


Patrick then notices Spongebob trying to destroy his I-Pod.

SPONGEBOB : Oh, uh, sup dude!

PATRICK : Nobody destroys my Music box!

Patrick charges toward Spongebob and the two rough it out. Mr.Krabs can't focus on counting his money.


Squidward takes the sledgehammer and door off his face and angrily grabs out a rock and throws it destroying Patrick’s I-Pod and putting an end to the torture.



Squidward takes out his clarinet and blows several wrong notes while screeching into the pipe hole which is even worse than Twinkle. Patrick faints due to the terrible sound and so do many other denizens.


Squidward continues The even worser music for a couple of moments before Mr.Krabs uses one claw to snap Squid’s blue mouth shut and uses his other claw to snap the clarinet in half. Krabs finally relents off of Squidward.


Squidward cries and now looks pathetic. Patrick regains consciousness and begins parading down the street yelling…


Like a huge lunatic.

Spongebob and Mr.Krabs walk back into the pineapple JUST in time to see Gary waking up and turning the news on to see a bulletin on PEARL.

PERCH PERKINS : This just in, to add on to the newly dubbed Chaos Night tonight, with terrible music and fights, we just got word, that a teenage whale with a very arrogant attitude has crashed into a rich mogul’s house while on her way to a pool party.


MR.KRABS : My boat!

SQUILLIAM : My house!

PEARL(realizes time has run out) : My Invitation!

SQUIDWARD : My Clarinet!

He continues weeping.

Patrick has the same Brown cloth his prehistoric counterpart worn while waving around his pants. Patrick also is wearing dirt on his face.


Patrick then sees a radio station and smiles. He takes out a spare disk of a louder version of Twinkle and plays it even louder. This vaporizes the rest of the denizens and melts Bikini Bottom buildings. The loud sound waves reach Conch ST where all three houses of Patrick, Squidward and Spongebob crumble to the ground. Mr.Krabs manages to escape a falling piece of wood that almost hit his toenails.

MR.KRABS : Oh phew! 



Mr.Krabs dive bombs into the wreckage that remains of Spongebob’s house while Spongebob, Gary and Squidward watch. Krabs emerges with just a penny and tries to keep a good head.

MR.KRABS : See boys! I managed to get a penny! Now.. is somebody chewing on potato chips?

SPONGEBOB : Negatory


GARY : Meow

Mr.Krabs looks down and then realizes that it is his toenails cracking, they break revealing the old crusty and Aged nails and fungus again. Spongebob smells it from afar and his nose disappears and he faints, Squidward grabs his mouth trying to hold in his vomit and runs to his wrecked house to find the bathroom remains. Gary slithers away slowly in the backwards direction and slithers onto a bus and goes on Vacation.

Mr.Krabs almost cries but gets a grip and angrily grabs Spongebob after Sponge grew back his nose. After administrating “Shower In A Can” to the aged nails, Krabs pins Spongebob against a rock and screams at him. Then angrily says,

MR.KRABS : Now, this is personal!!

SPONGEBOB : Ah, uh, oh, um, uh..

MR.KRABS : Not only will you say goodbye to ye golden star chart but you will also lose ye Spatuler, Position, Squidward AND!!...

SPONGEBOB : I am so sorry!!! I just went out of my way to impress you with this dinner!! It wasn't supposed to end up like this!! Please fire me!! I am a fraud!!!

Mr.Krabs continues to growl but then stops and releases a weeping Spongebob from his tight grip.

MR.KRABS(Puzzled) : Is.. Is that true?

Spongebob nods while continuing to sniffle.

Mr.Krabs kneels down to the ground..

MR.KRABS : Oh uh lad, I didn't realize this. You wanted to impress me even under the risk that I would lose me toenails in the process?

SPONGEBOB : y y y yessss…

Krabs smiles while tearing up and hugs Spongebob, who is surprised.

MR.KRABS : You don't need to impress me Spongebob, you were fine as is, well for the most part. I'm still not happy that me new toenails are gone but I still got one thing that a pedicure from a teenage daughter can't bring.

SPONGEBOB : What’s that?


Spongebob sniffles but this time happily and he and his boss hug it out for a couple of moments until calming down. Squidward finally returns with dried vomit all over his shirt.

Mr.Krabs and Spongebob look at Squidward and then glance at each other and giggle getting a funny prank idea after realizing that Squidward was half responsible for the chaos in the first place. Squidward looks confused.


MR.KRABS : $5 please!


MR.KRABS : For not dressing ye finest, don't you know what formal wear is?

SQUIDWARD : Well, I like to play fancy dress up and..

Mr.Krabs snatches $10 instead from Squid’s Wallet.

SQUIDWARD : Hey?! You docked 10!

MR.KRABS : Oh, make that 20 for talking back to your commanding officer!

SPONGEBOB : And another 5 for the terrible music!

MR.KRABS : Right ye are boy!

SQUIDWARD : Stay out of this Spongebrat!

SPONGEBOB : Oops, $30 it is!


MR.KRABS : $45 for saying ugh! This ain't prehistoric times.

The scene cuts to Squidward losing more and more money even for dancing.


Patrick in his Brown cloth returns to somewhat enough sanity and runs away frightened while being chased by an angry mob for rampaging.

PATRICK : Too much fire! Too much fire! Aaah!

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