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Patchy the Pirate is an idiot and a pedophile that has a liking to SpongeBob and kids. Patchy was born on July 15, 1986, he is 29 years old and 1 day younger than SpongeBob. Patchy lives in Encino, California with his pet parrot, Potty.



Origin Edit

Patchy the Pirate was born on a broken down smelly bus in the downtown streets of L.A. When he was four years old, he burned his butt while attempting to skateboard off the Hollywood sign. He fell off and burned his butt all the way down the hill causing him to get surgery. When Patchy was in school, he was the frequent target for bullies and often got wedgies, got pantsed, wet-willies and swirlies. At 11 years old, Patchy attempted to get revenge by giving a bully a wedgie on the flagpole but failed incredibly and ended up hanging by his undies on the Flagpole instead. Patchy dropped out of school after Fifth Grade and got kicked out of his house after being called a loser by his family. After saving enough money, he bought his uncle's ranch house for $1,800,000. Patchy created a puppet parrot out of toilet paper, Elmers Glue, Construction paper, green,yellow and red feathers and googly eyes and named it Potty. He auditioned to be a ventriloquist with Potty but failed and gave up. When SpongeBob first came on TV, Patchy got hooked on immediately, started dressing up as a pirate and started a fan club based on SpongeBob and SpongeBob only.



Likes Edit

SpongeBob SquarePants

Potty the Parrot(sometimes)

Unbaked Cookie Dough

Christmas

Thanksgiving

Mrs.Johnson

Flirting with old ladies

Harassing children

Pretending to be on American Idol by dancing in a pink ballerina dress and a crown.


Dislikes Edit

Missing episodes and new episodes of SpongeBob

Potty the Parrot (Frequently)

Being unsuccessful

Lighthouses

Pictures not including SpongeBob

Pumpkins

Suntan lotion and Sunscreen

Radios and Speakers and loud music

Teddy bears

Cards

Ghosts

Markers

Cloths

Tricky doors

Ceiling Fans

Buckets

Halloween

4th of July

Lamps

Clocks (man does he hate clocks!)

SpongeBob's walk cycles

Bubble Bass

Squilliam Fancyson

Donuts

Policemen

Surgeons

The Walking Dead

Breaking Bad

Tables

Candles

BAKED COOKIE DOUGH (He gets enraged when seeing this)

New Years

Blinds

Cars

Other Men

Boats and Ships

Vampires

Werewolves

Books

Ducks

The color green

History

Magazines


LETTER TO PATCHY FROM SPONGEBOB (from a YTP) Edit

Dear Patchy,


          I am 29 years old and....


BACK OFF YOU FLYING FREAK!!!!!!!!!!


Sincerely Yours,


          SpongeBob

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