Patchy the Pirate is an idiot and a pedophile that has a liking to SpongeBob and kids. Patchy was born on July 15, 1986, he is 29 years old and 1 day younger than SpongeBob. Patchy lives in Encino, California with his pet parrot, Potty.
Patchy the Pirate was born on a broken down smelly bus in the downtown streets of L.A. When he was four years old, he burned his butt while attempting to skateboard off the Hollywood sign. He fell off and burned his butt all the way down the hill causing him to get surgery. When Patchy was in school, he was the frequent target for bullies and often got wedgies, got pantsed, wet-willies and swirlies. At 11 years old, Patchy attempted to get revenge by giving a bully a wedgie on the flagpole but failed incredibly and ended up hanging by his undies on the Flagpole instead. Patchy dropped out of school after Fifth Grade and got kicked out of his house after being called a loser by his family. After saving enough money, he bought his uncle's ranch house for $1,800,000. Patchy created a puppet parrot out of toilet paper, Elmers Glue, Construction paper, green,yellow and red feathers and googly eyes and named it Potty. He auditioned to be a ventriloquist with Potty but failed and gave up. When SpongeBob first came on TV, Patchy got hooked on immediately, started dressing up as a pirate and started a fan club based on SpongeBob and SpongeBob only.
Potty the Parrot(sometimes)
Unbaked Cookie Dough
Flirting with old ladies
Pretending to be on American Idol by dancing in a pink ballerina dress and a crown.
Missing episodes and new episodes of SpongeBob
Potty the Parrot (Frequently)
Pictures not including SpongeBob
Suntan lotion and Sunscreen
Radios and Speakers and loud music
4th of July
Clocks (man does he hate clocks!)
SpongeBob's walk cycles
The Walking Dead
BAKED COOKIE DOUGH (He gets enraged when seeing this)
Boats and Ships
The color green
LETTER TO PATCHY FROM SPONGEBOB (from a YTP) Edit
I am 29 years old and....
BACK OFF YOU FLYING FREAK!!!!!!!!!!