Kidnapped Krabs (Spongebob Squarepants Fanfiction)
Synopsis
Mr.Krabs is carjacked by a robber and forced to participate in a joint scheme. Krabs might be okay with it however once he realizes that the scheme involves bank robbery.
Characters
Spongebob Squarepants
Eugene H. Krabs
Squidward Tentacles
Cruncher
Guard
Police Officers
Mrs.Puff
The Story
The story begins at The Krusty Krab, it is now 6 PM, closing time. The employees walk out going home.
SQUIDWARD: Could not have ended soon enough.
SPONGEBOB: See you tomorrow, Mr.K!
MR.KRABS: Sayanora Spongebob! Remember 3 cents less tomorrow! Need to save up!
SPONGEBOB: Yes, sir!
MR.KRABS: Good boy!
Spongebob leaves. Mr.Krabs closes up and heads to his boat.
MR.KRABS: I love being cheap!
Mr.Krabs drives off. He is driving by the jail until getting a flat tire.
MR.KRABS: Barnacles! Flat!
Mr.Krabs goes to his trunk to get his air pump when a guard shows up.
GUARD: Hey sir?
MR.KRABS: Yeah?
GUARD: Have you by any chance seen an escaped convict, 7 feet tall, very short tempered?
MR.KRABS: I have no clue what you are babbling on about. I’m just trying to put some air into my flat boat tire.
GUARD: Well okay, let us know if you see him.
MR.KRABS: Yea sure whatever.
The guard leaves to continue finding the escapee. Mr.Krabs begins putting air into his flat tire. Suddenly, a very tall fish pops out of the shade once the prison searchlight aims away. He makes a dash to Mr.Krabs’ boat getting into the driver's seat. Krabs finishes airing the tire.
MR.KRABS: Ugh, there.
Krabs tries to get in the boat but then spots the convict. They both scream at each other both being surprised. Before Krabs could alert the guards, the convict duct tapes the cheapskates mouth shut and throws him into the trunk stealing his car keys. The convict makes a getaway in the boat and after driving some odd miles, he gets Krabs out of the trunk and ties him up on the passenger seat. He finally rips off the duct tape.
MR.KRABS: OWWWWW!!!!
CONVICT: Shut it! Shut up!
MR.KRABS: Please don’t hurt me! I’m innocent!....... Well, except for that one time that I snatched that child’s popsicle.
CONVICT: Zip it old man! I ain’t hurting you unless if you try to hurt me.
MR.KRABS: What do you want from me?!
CONVICT: What do I want from you?! Y’know what, you seem strong enough, you are going to commit a crime with me.
MR.KRABS: Why, why Mr.Convict?!!
CONVICT: Call me Cruncher.
MR.KRABS: What is it about?!!
CRUNCHER: Hey, wait, are you undercover?!
MR.KRABS: No!
CRUNCHER: Well in that case, I am planning to rob the Bikini Bottom Bank.
MR.KRABS: Wait, the bank?
CRUNCHER: Yes the bank, YOU STUPID OLD FART! What do you take me for, a murderer?!
MR.KRABS: No, no.
CRUNCHER: Well good, so ya in or what?!!
MR.KRABS: …….. I’m in. I like money!
CRUNCHER: Well good. Let’s go.
Cruncher and Mr.Krabs drive off.
They arrive at the bank pulling around back.
MR.KRABS: Why didn’t you just park out front?
CRUNCHER: I still have my jumpsuit on you dumb bag of bricks! What do you want next?! Me being tackled by the law and flown off to federal containment with a failed mission?!!
MR.KRABS: No
CRUNCHER: Then shut that mouth and GET THE EXPLOSIVE!
Mr.Krabs complies taking out a hand grenade. He walks up to the back entrance of the Bank while Cruncher watches. Krabs doesn’t know how to use it.
MR.KRABS: So?
CRUNCHER: So what?!
MR.KRABS: How do I use this weapon thingy?
Cruncher facepalms and decides to do it himself.
CRUNCHER: You worthless PIECE OF DOG DEFECATION!! PULL THE PIN!! DIDN’T YOU SERVE IN ANY WARS?!
MR.KRABS: Yes! The Bikini Bottom War from 1968 to 1969! I won it of course!
CRUNCHER: Now, do you want to win money?
MR.KRABS: Yes! ARRGH ARRGH!
CRUNCHER: Then pull the pin!!
Mr.Krabs finally pulls the pin.
MR.KRABS: Now what?
CRUNCHER: NOW RUN YOU WORTHLESS BAG OF GARBAGE!
MR.KRABS: Oh arrgh!
Mr.Krabs and Cruncher run away far enough as the grenade detonates blowing up the back of the bank sounding the alarm.
MR.KRABS: Hey the alarm is going off! How are we supposed to rob the bank now?!
CRUNCHER: Let’s get in there and get enough for me, I mean, ourselves! Before the officials arrive!
MR.KRABS: Aye, aye!
CRUNCHER: Dimwit
The two run into the bank. Cruncher opens the cash register with a rusty crowbar and collects the money and coins. Mr.Krabs grabs a tac, chews on it and rams through safe deposit boxes collecting all of the life savings of the town into his 24 pockets. Cruncher collects the hidden dollar bills under stuff like paintings and chairs. Finally, Mr.Krabs uses a stethoscope and cracks open the big safe collecting $800 plus several diamonds, jewels and golden ingots that somehow got in there. The two robbers then book it with a total of $1000 between them and make it back to the boat before the Cops arrive.
MR.KRABS: We did it! We robbed a bank in 5 minutes!
CRUNCHER: We sure did.
Cruncher then points a laser at Krabs.
CRUNCHER: Now give it.
MR.KRABS: Wait, what?
CRUNCHER: The money and shiny objects! GIVE IT TO ME YOU OLD REJECT!
MR.KRABS: No! I stole this money fair and square!
CRUNCHER: You have no choice!
MR.KRABS: You’ll have to pry me of my hands to get it.
Cruncher, without hesitation, shoots Mr.Krabs with the laser taking all of the stolen items and trying to make a getaway in Krabs’ boat. Cruncher begins to drive off but then the boat stops, a flat tire…
CRUNCHER: Aaah! (*I lost count of all of the dolphin noises (bad words) he is making,*)
The cops then arrive. They have the criminal surrounded with more powerful lasers plus defensives from his. Cruncher is then cuffed.
CRUNCHER: AAAAGAGHAHAGHHHH!!
Cruncher is loaded away to a federal containment center as he raged about earlier. Mr.Krabs approaches the warden, who is…….. Mrs.Puff?
MR.KRABS: Poppy darling, you’re the warden?
MRS.PUFF: No, I still teach boating, well, I will once I get out of jail tomorrow…. I’m the stand in right now since the real warden is sick with rabies.
MR.KRABS: Oh, well thanks for saving my life!
MRS.PUFF: You’re welcome darling! Dinner tomorrow?
MR.KRABS: Yep! Without my payments of course!
MRS.PUFF: Figures….. well bye!
Mrs.Puff and the Cops leave.
MR.KRABS: Boy, this comes as a lesson to never trust or help a bad person. They’ll backstab ye! Well, I may have not gotten money but I will make more tomorrow! I’m talking to myself again…
Spongebob for unknown reasons, pops up out of nowhere.
SPONGEBOB: Hahahahaha! You’re funny! See you tomorrow Mr.K!
MR.KRABS: How’d you get here?