Ghost-A- Go Go (Spongebob Squarepants Fanfiction)
Spongebob and Patrick are subjected to participate in numerous obstacle courses by The Flying Dutchman after they run into his graveyard. This determines who gets to live, as in stolen souls for Dutchy.
Ice Cream Vendor
Old Man Jenkins
The Flying Dutchman
Gary The Snail(Cameo)
The Scene begins at Jellyfish Fields, some jellyfish buzz by, Patrick tries to catch them.
PATRICK: Come on you stupid jellyfish!
He catches one.
One huge one comes up.
PATRICK: Oh no!
SPONGEBOB: One Ice Cream please!
ICE CREAM VENDOR: $2.
They both hear Patrick scream as he is stung by the big jellyfish.
SPONGEBOB: Make that 2.
VENDOR: Double the price.
Spongebob pays the vendor $4 and then walks away, a jellyfish randomly stings the vendor.
SPONGEBOB: Here’s your ice cream to heal…
Patrick grabs the ice cream as well as Spongebob’s and swallows both.
SPONGEBOB: Never mind…
PATRICK:(belches): So, what now? I’m getting bored.
SPONGEBOB: Hmmmm, free Krabby Patties?
Mr.Krabs pops up.
SPONGEBOB: Well, we have nothing else, our next bubble shipment isn’t until Monday and Squidward is on vacation.
PATRICK: Bored Spongebob, Bored!
Suddenly they see somebody, it is Old Man Jenkins.
PATRICK: Oh hey, aren’t you that old person that got hit by a football, a coconut, a tractor, an elephant, a…
SPONGEBOB: Patrick, we get it, the poor guy is very unlucky.
OLD MAN JENKINS: Yes, no matter how many times that I don’t want to be a burden, it’s true…. Anyways, I see you young chaps are bored.
SPONGEBOB: Yeah, how’d you know.
PATRICK: I think he is an agent!
SPONGEBOB: Pat, Don’t even start.
JENKINS: No, I’m not an agent… I just overheard your conversation… I have an activity you can do.
PATRICK: WHAT IS IT?! COME ON OLD DUDE, I’M BORED!!!!
JENKINS: Um, you’re hurting me.
Spongebob pulls Patrick off of him.
JENKINS: Wow uh… anyways…. just follow that little brown path just south of you.
They see a brown path leading into an area that looks eerie.
SPONGEBOB: Oh uh I don’....
PATRICK: FUN TIMES!!!
SPONGEBOB: WAIT UP!
JENKINS: …… Ha! Suckers!
Thunderclouds suddenly form over Jenkins and he is struck by lightning adding on to his numerous misfortunes.
Spongebob and Patrick continue to walk down the eerie path as the sky gets noticeably darker.
Spongebob continues to feel concerned. They finally stop once Patrick runs out of breath. As soon as the starfish copes, he realizes that there is nothing fun around.
PATRICK: Wha,hey! There’s nothing fun here! Ripoff!
SPONGEBOB: I have a list of all fun places I have visited or have to visit, this joins the list at the absolute bottom.
PATRICK: I want something to eat.
Suddenly, the two idiots notice a bell and read a sign.
SPONGEBOB: Ring at your own risk? Huh? Well uh…
Patrick rings the bell.
Storm clouds appear and then The Flying Dutchman does, plenty angry.
THE FLYING DUTCHMAN: WHO DARES TRESPASS UPON THE FLYING DUTCHMAN’S GRAVEYARD?!!
SPONGEBOB & PATRICK: Uh, we did.
The Flying Dutchman approaches Patrick.
DUTCHMAN: SO… A CHEESE BLOCK AND A TUBBY STARFISH DARE WALK ON THE SAME SOIL MY ANCESTORS AND GHOST MATES ARE BURIED ON?!!!
PATRICK: Tubby? WHO YOU CALLIN TUBBY?!!
Dutchman blasts Patrick with a laser beam from his eyes.
DUTCHMAN: SILENCE!!! IMBECILE!!!
Patrick is burned to a crisp.
PATRICK: Mom.. did you put gasoline in the oven again?
Patrick falls apart into ashes.
SPONGEBOB: Whoh, Whoh, Dutchman, we want no trouble.
DUTCHMAN: ONLY TRESPASSERS WANT TROUBLE, AND YOU ARE TRESPASSERS!!!!
SPONGEBOB: But we’re not! This old guy sent us here under the impression that it would be something fun since we were so bored.
DUTCHMAN: YOU DARE INSULT MY GRAVEYARD FOR BEING BORING?! HOW DARE YOU!
Dutchman prepares to blast Spongebob with a beam.
SPONGEBOB: Uh oh, HIT THE DECK!!!!
Dutchman fires a beam, Spongebob ducks, and it hits Patrick turning him into just a burnt mark on the pavement.
SPONGEBOB: PATRICK!!! HE ISN’T DEAD IS HE?!
DUTCHMAN: HE WILL BE, ONCE I CLAIM HIS SOUL!
The Flying Dutchman takes out his soul bag and prepares to steal Patrick’s soul from the burnt pavement. Spongebob stops him.
SPONGEBOB: No! I won’t let you kill him!
DUTCHMAN: Ok… I GUESS YOU WANT TO GO INSTEAD!
SPONGEBOB: WAIT!! There has got to be something we can do to forget that this ever happened!
DUTCHMAN: Only the weak, SAY THAT!
SPONGEBOB: COME ON PLEASE!
Dutchman prepares to fire another beam but he has run out of beam energy.
DUTCHMAN: Blast it! Ran out!
SPONGEBOB: So, my friend and I can live?
The Dutchman then thinks of something.
DUTCHMAN: I mean yes! You can! If you do one thing for me!
SPONGEBOB: Lay it on me.
DUTCHMAN: You must COMPLETE, this super hard obstacle course, that you may or may not make it out of alive. If you win, you live and never COME BACK HERE! If you lose, then it’s DAVY JONES LOCKER!
Spongebob gets the shivers at that thought.
DUTCHMAN: Which do you CHOOSE?
SPONGEBOB: Obstacle course!
DUTCHMAN: I would too.
SPONGEBOB: Could you regenerate my friend as well, I’d like help.
DUTCHMAN: Hmmm… so be it.
The Dutchman regenerates Patrick with a finger trick.
PATRICK: I had the craziest dream that I was burnt by an angry ghost and I am now going to be doing an obstacle course! There was also cookies!
Dutchman sighs and then gets all worked up.
DUTCHMAN: GET MOVING!!
Spongebob and Patrick do what the ghost says.
Once they are out of earshot..
DUTCHMAN: And by moving, that be souls from their feeble bodies!
The scene cuts to Spongebob and Patrick dressed in athletic shorts, they are prepared to tackle down a dangerous obstacle course that spans the entire graveyard.
DUTCHMAN: 1.. 2.. 3!
They remain waiting.
DUTCHMAN: Um… Aren’t ye moving?
PATRICK: You didn’t say go.
DUTCHMAN: …… GO!
Spongebob encounters a crazy skeleton prepared to steal his bones. Patrick however surprises it and dropkicks it in the chest making it fall apart.
Patrick must cross a stream of dangerous radioactive waste.
PATRICK: Oh crud! Maybe I should’ve taken gymnastics in school after all!
SPONGEBOB: Don’t worry Pat, we’ll cross.
Spongebob, since he is a Sponge, soaks up the radioactive waste, which he is immune to due to being absorbent enough to absorb any liquid. They simply walk off to the next challenge.
This next challenge is to try and get past a wave of heavily armed ghost pirates.
The pirates prepare to blast away the two heroes with lasers. Patrick, using the 15% intelligence he does have, thinks of something.
PATRICK: I got it!
Patrick takes out a mirror.
SPONGEBOB: Where’d you get a mirror from?
PATRICK: I like to admire myself!
SPONGEBOB: Oh right!
PIRATE CHIEF: Fire away lads!
The Ghost pirates begin firing their laser rays, Patrick continues his rare burst of smarts and manages to block all of the beams by reflecting them with the mirror and sending them back the pirate’s way annihilating them all except for the chief.
The chief grabs out his last laser ray and blasts himself out of existence instead so they won’t do it.
SPONGEBOB: You did it Pat!
PATRICK(returning to stupidity): I did what now?
SPONGEBOB: Let’s move on!
DUTCHMAN: Huh? How are they not ghosts yet?!
Spongebob and Patrick continue succeeding in many challenges. Spongebob saves Patrick from the arm cruncher, Patrick manages to hold in tears when stung by numerous horseflies, Spongebob chews through old torn up sails and cobwebs, Patrick shows his ugly face to more skeletons which is so hideous to them that it makes them stab themselves with their own swords. Spongebob and Patrick beat a fat ghost in a dancing challenge.
The two barely make it out alive very tired out. The Dutchman approaches.
DUTCHMAN: Congratulations, you two morons are the first to complete the graveyard’s best of tortures.
SPONGEBOB & PATRICK: YAY!!!!
DUTCHMAN: And for your reward, you become part of my crew!
SPONGEBOB: Yay!! Wait… what?
DUTCHMAN: You fool! You think you can deal with a ghost?!
DUTCHMAN: Completion of the obstacle course or not, your soul is mine either way!
SPONGEBOB: NO! We won fair and square!
DUTCHMAN: My graveyard! MY RULES!
He takes out his soul bag which you can hear the screams of souls Dutchy has stolen in the past.
DUTCHMAN: You’ll make excellent additions! Now… you can choose…. slow and painful or fast and painful?
PATRICK: Or painless!
DUTCHMAN: Looks like, you’re first!
The Dutchman performs a ritual that causes Patrick to stand there and not move, lifeless. His soul begins getting painfully ripped from his body.
PATRICK’S SOUL: OWWWWW!!!! And I thought jellyfish hurt!
Spongebob then notices some radioactive waste and absorbs it and then spits it at the Dutchman’s head, who can still be affected by the pain.
The ritual comes to an abrupt end and Patrick’s soul is sucked back into Patrick’s body returning him to normal.
PATRICK: Ah, Ah! What?! Cookies?!!
The Dutchman sprays himself with his ghost water to wash off the waste. Then he gets angry.
DUTCHMAN: YOU DARE INTERRUPT THE DUTCHMAN’S SOUL RITUAL?!
SPONGEBOB: Look! You can’t just steal somebody’s soul just because, you don’t like them!
DUTCHMAN: I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT! AS SAID, MY GRAVEYARD!!!
SPONGEBOB & PATRICK: AND OUR SOULS!!!
The Dutchman is perplexed.
DUTCHMAN: Ok.. fair play. BUT NOT WORKING!
Spongebob arms himself with more waste, Patrick does as well but it stings him a bit.
DUTCHMAN(realizing that his water is low): Or…. uh…… You can leave alive?!
SPONGEBOB: I choose option 2 if I were you.
DUTCHMAN: Option 2 it is! NOW LEAVE ME ALONE AND NEVER COME BACK!
The Dutchman performs another finger trick and Spongebob and Patrick are teleported back to Spongebob’s house.
SPONGEBOB: HOME SWEET HOME!! HEY GARY!
SPONGEBOB: OH SWEET RELIEF! I definitely will be cautious of making acquaintances in the future! Ya never know when one will turn on you! Oh boy, am I glad to be alive!
PATRICK: Now, time for some food! All those challenge thingies made me hungry!
Patrick goes to the Kitchen to steal some of Spongebob’s food. He opens the fridge, nothing.
PATRICK: When did you go food shopping?
SPONGEBOB: Just two days ago, why?
PATRICK: Doesn’t look like it!
Spongebob looks at his empty fridge… empty.
SPONGEBOB: I could’ve sworn I filled it!
Other places for food such as the cabinets, breadbox and freezer are opened, all empty as well.
SPONGEBOB: Well I could go to the store and……… WAIT, I know who took it.
SPONGEBOB: The Dutchman.
Spongebob points to his TV, which he had noticed with a picture of a cheeky Dutchman, who had taken a selfie with all of the stolen food as a big pet peeve for Patrick. He had to give a price for them to go home.
PATRICK: AAAAAAAAHHHH! OH THE FISHIANITY!!!
SPONGEBOB: Thinking twice about others next time… like really, I have to.