A Game of Mermaidman’s (Spongebob Squarepants Fanfiction)
Main Characters Edit
Spongebob Squarepants decides to enlist the assistance of his heroes to help him claim a Mermaidman & Barnacleboy game, Bubble Bass, the store clerk, is wrongfully holding from him after a stupid issue from long ago.
The Story Edit
The scene begins in downtown Bikini Bottom, Spongebob Squarepants and Patrick Star are walking to the Nerd Store, where they always buy numerous video games, toys, movies, etc. They are specifically going to buy a new video game called, “Mermaidman and Barnacleboy, The Tide Turns.”
SPONGEBOB: I so can not wait to buy Mermaidman and Barnacleboy, The Tide Turns. Only the #1 best seller since Barnacle Chips! Huh Pat! Pat? Pat??
Patrick has fallen asleep on top of a public mailbox. Spongebob throws a seashell at him to wake him up, startling him and making him fall to the ground.
SPONGEBOB: Hello, Patrick.
PATRICK: Oh hey Spongebob! I just had this weird dream that somebody threw some thingy at me while I was snoozing on one of those, y’know boxes that store post cards and stupid letters and uhhhh…
SPONGEBOB: You want to get the video game now.
PATRICK: Mermaidman and Barnacleboy, The Tide Turns?!! I have been wanting to play that awesome game since I was 2!!!
SPONGEBOB: But you’re 31, and it just came out yesterday…
PATRICK: Oh sorry, that was Seashell Shooters!
SPONGEBOB: ……. Anyways, let’s get the game.
The two idiots enter the Nerd Store, they look around seeing some new arcade game setups, some bullies tormenting nerds even in their haven and a soda water fountain that calls for Patrick, who is kept on task by Spongebob. They finally pick up a copy of MM&BB - TTT, and walk up to the cash register.
SPONGEBOB: This is all we want, Mr……. oh.. it’s you again.
The mysterious cashier lowers his Flying Dutchman Daily Magazine revealing to be Bubble Bass, Spongebob’s arch-rival as well as dastardly Krabby Patty critic and just recently hired employee for the Nerd Store.
BUBBLE BASS: Squarepants…
The two face off. This is so intense that the other nerds, employees and even bullies book it outside as fast as possible. Spongebob, Bubble Bass and Patrick remain the only visible in the building.
BUBBLE BASS: I ticket you want a low-quality video game?
SPONGEBOB: Actually a high-quality masterpiece of my two favorite heroes that you will never understand about!
BUBBLE BASS: Pfft.. cute.
Bubble Bass takes the game and prices it.
BUBBLE BASS: $4.92.
Spongebob takes out a $5 bill from his wallet.
Bubble Bass reluctantly spots him 12 cents change. Spongebob pays him back a $1 tip.
SPONGEBOB: Keep the tip..
BUBBLE BASS: As in your game, okay.
Spongebob, who was just about to go to the game receiver box stops dead in his tracks.
SPONGEBOB: Say what?
BUBBLE BASS: This game is rated 7+.
SPONGEBOB: So, I was 7 years old a long time ago, you’re point?
Bubble Bass pulls out a logbook of all customers dating back to since the Great Bikini War, he finally finds Spongebob.
BUBBLE BASS: August 1993, remember this? Spongebob, a happy-go-lucky 7 year old child is heading to Nerd Store to buy a MacMan Game for his Papa. The little scamp however did not have enough money for the antique game, so instead of graciously accepting loss, he goes and shoplifts… the #1 Consequence.
Bubble Bass closes the book and then smiles cockily.
BUBBLE BASS: So… No Mermaidman and Barnacleboy - The Tide Turns, for you!
Spongebob gets aggravated.
SPONGEBOB: That happened a long time ago! My parents paid for that game the day after! And I swore to never shoplift again! So you’re argument is invalid!
BUBBLE BASS: Still in the book! Still counts! Still no game for you!
SPONGEBOB: That makes no sense!
BUBBLE BASS: I am an employee here.
SPONGEBOB: Pfft yeah, for like only two weeks!
BUBBLE BASS: I am still employed… you are still a stupid customer…. and you still shoplifted. Now do I have to call Game security or will you show yourself and your fat idiot friend out?
Spongebob and Patrick glance over at a couple of security guards watching from the background, eels in hand ready to taze.
Spongebob angrily grunts and walks out. Patrick is mesmerized by a ball he found but Spongebob makes him drop it and he grabs him and the two exit with no game. Bubble Bass smiles watching them leave. A fly is flying behind him but he crushes it with his two ends of his butt.
The scene cuts to Spongebob resting by Jellyfish Rock. He is sad that his arch-rival just robbed him of pretty much $6 and he doesn’t have the video game. Patrick keeps struggling to catch some jellyfish but he trips on a rock full of sea urchins and then gets stung on the butt by an angry blue jellyfish. It flies away, his area turns red and he walks up to Spongebob.
PATRICK: Could we go Spongebob, I am a little over Jellyfish Fields now.
SPONGEBOB: Oh beat it Patrick, I’m a little too upset to move right now.
PATRICK: What’s the matter buddy?
SPONGEBOB: Did you not notice that an obese loser did not give me a game because, of a now resolved issue that happened 20 or so years ago. Plus not to mention, I lost quite a lot of my money! I’M NOT HAPPY!!!
Spongebob angrily grabs his bubble soap out of random and angrily chucks it across the field hitting Old Man Jenkins, who was licking a popsicle, on the head. Poor guy, unluckiest fellow around.
OLD MAN JENKINS: I don’t want to be a burden.
SPONGEBOB: Ughhh!!! And now I just caused an old dude to get a brain injury! Can my life get even worse?!!
Spongebob sits back on the rock managing to hold back the waterworks. Patrick is puzzling on how to make his friend feel better. Then suddenly, he got an idea.
PATRICK: Hey Spongebob, uhhh, was that game was about Mermaidman and Barnacleboy?
SPONGEBOB: (sniffles a bit) : Yes
PATRICK: What do you think they are doing right now?
SPONGEBOB: I don’t know, probably doing what old people do.
PATRICK: Hmmm, maybe this issue can be solved if we ask them to help.
PATRICK: We can ask the heroes themselves to assist in defeating that fat dork at the shop. By the way, I am not a fat idiot friend!
SPONGEBOB: Well I did not call you that and… GREAT IDEA PATRICK!!!! I’LL JUST GET THE SOURCE TO HELP INSTEAD! HOW DID YOU GET SO SMART?!!
PATRICK: Pfft, I was always like that! Cuz, 2+2 equals Pumpkin Pie! Now,... I’m hungry!
The scene cuts to Shady Shoals Rest Home. The two friends get a pass to enter, they find Barnacleboy trying to best somebody in Chess while Mermaidman is sleeping on the couch. Barnacleboy notices them.
BARNACLEBOY: Oh no, what do you want now Spongekid and Starboy?!
SPONGEBOB: I was wondering if you and Mermaidman would uh help us with a little dilemma.
BARNACLEBOY: What you’s on about?!
PATRICK: Listen Giant Nose, this fat butthole just stole my friend’s game even after he paid and you can find out from there! Now.. where can I find a cookie?!
BARNACLEBOY: To the right.
Patrick goes to try and find the delicious treat.
SPONGEBOB: So will you help us?
BARNACLEBOY: Hmmmm, I have to check in with the old coot first.
Barnacleboy goes to wake up Mermaidman, scaring him.
MERMAIDMAN: Wha,aaaah! EVILLL! EVILLLLLL!!!!
Mermaidman runs in circles for a couple of moments but then grabs a shoe and begins assaulting Barnacleboy with it.
BARNACLEBOY: Aaah! AAAH! IT’S JUST ME YOU OLD COOT!
MERMAIDMAN: I won’t fall for your evil tricks Killer Shrimp! Taste my shoe!
MERMAIDMAN: Oh wait, are you that Sponge boy?
Then looks at Barnacleboy..
MERMAIDMAN: Oh wait, never mind, it is you Barnacleboy,... oops.
Barnacleboy gets to his feet and grunts..
MERMAIDMAN(to Spongebob): Now uh, what do you want, I was taking my Nappy-Nappy!
SPONGEBOB: I need your help Mermaidman, you see this arch-rival of mine, Bubble Bass..
MERMAIDMAN: The fat dude?
SPONGEBOB: Affirmative.. I tried to buy your new video game but he refused to give it to me even after I paid him money. It was because, of some shoplifting I did back as a kid but I have come clean from that now and he still won’t give in, so.. can you talk some sense into him?
BARNACLEBOY: Now Sponge Kid, we don’t do personal business even if it was robbery. We are heroes! We need to answer to real public danger!
Spongebob decides to bribe since he is desperate.
SPONGEBOB: I’ll get you doughnuts!
BARNACLEBOY: That ain’t..
Mermaidman grabs the two and heads to the Mermalair in a rush..
MERMAIDMAN: TO THE INVISIBLE BOATMOBILE, AWAY!!!!
The three drop to the Mermalair all screaming. Patrick returns to the living room finishing his cookie and hearing the screams and seeing them drop down the chamber.
PATRICK: Hey, wait up!
Patrick drops down and instead laughs while doing it.
Spongebob, Patrick, Mermaidman and Barnacleboy enter the Invisible Boatmobile, after Barnacleboy got burned by the gas exhaust again. Mermaidman puts the invisible controls in invisible speed and their ride speeds off.
40 minutes pass and the heroes finally arrive at the Nerd Store.
SPONGEBOB: It took quite a while to get here.
BARNACLEBOY: Well, we would’ve been here quicker if a certain dumb and dumber duo didn’t take over a half hour ordering Girl Scout Cookies!
The scene shows Patrick and Mermaidman stuffed from eating so many cookies.
MERMAIDMAN: Almost as much treats since 1964!
PATRICK: Thank you, Neptune!
BARNACLEBOY: Babies.. Absolute babies! And i’m supposed to be the boy?!
SPONGEBOB: Let’s just drop it guys, we got a mission to attend to.
The four enter the store to find Bubble Bass dancing with a black afro on. All four are shocked.
BUBBLE BASS: To the right, to the left, six steps this… AAAAH!!! STUPID CUSTOMERS?!!!
SPONGEBOB: Bubble Bass… we need to chat.
He takes the afro off and gets into his “tough guy” mode.
BUBBLE BASS: About what?
SPONGEBOB: You know what.
BUBBLE BASS: Oh, the game!
Bubble Bass shows a chart revealing that he just sold the game to someone. Spongebob’s eyes explode but then reform since he is a Sponge.
SPONGEBOB: Well, who bought it?!!
Bubble Bass points outside to the Dirty Bubble.
THE DIRTY BUBBLE: Hahaahaha! The two heroes will so d.. uh I mean, lose in this game! Hahahahah!
The Dirty Bubble takes off in his Dirty Mobile.
Bubble Bass then smiles boastfully at the devastated Sponge.
BUBBLE BASS(in a girl voice): You lose!
Spongebob breaks down crying. Patrick goes to comfort him and Barnacleboy tries to talk some sense into the fat nerdy bully.
BARNACLEBOY: Bubble Bass, is that right?
BUBBLE BASS: Depends..
BARNACLEBOY: Listen, just because Spongebob is a nuisance to you, which I can relate to, it still doesn’t change the fact that you can rob him of his money and still deny him the new game starring me and the old coot. So, do you have any extra copies?
BUBBLE BASS: Hmmm let me check.
Barnacleboy looks satisfied thinking that was all but then sees Bubble Bass picking at and searching at an area you can probably figure out, and it ain’t the store… Bubble Bass finishes.
BUBBLE BASS: Nope not there… we seem to be out of stock!.... Come back tomorrow!
BARNACLEBOY: You didn’t even check the store!
MERMAIDMAN: Mr Bassy, did you check my shirt?
BUBBLE BASS: Huh?
PATRICK: I’ll Check!
SPONGEBOB: NO!!!.... Bubble Bass, you WIN!
BARNACLEBOY: No he does not win! Now, I know why the moron came up to me, he’s right, you need to be stopped!
BUBBLE BASS: Huh, you kiddin, you… a skinny old twig take down a fat handsome dude like me?!
MERMAIDMAN: No, me too!
PATRICK: Me three!
SPONGEBOB: No just Mermaidman and Barnacleboy!
BUBBLE BASS: So it’s settled, a duel, right now!
BARNACLEBOY: Seems about so.
MERMAIDMAN: Will we get doughnuts after?
Bubble Bass climbs up top of the counter and takes off his shirt.
MERMAIDMAN: Why is he taking off his shirt?
BARNACLEBOY: I don’t kn… oh wait… oh Barnacles!
SPONGEBOB: Hit the deck!
Bubble Bass grabs out some packed garbage from his armpits. He chucks it toward Mermaidman but he ducks and it hits Patrick in the face, who was licking a tac.
PATRICK: Ow!... Hey!
Mermaidman and Barnacleboy get into defensive mode, now finally detecting a threat.
MERMAIDMAN: Throw a waterball lad!
BARNACLEBOY: But that’s your power!
MERMAIDMAN: Oh right.
Mermaidman forms a waterball and throws it at Bubble Bass who deflects it with his butt making it hit Barnacleboy.
Mermaidman next gets out the Mermarang and tries to sneak attack Bubble Bass but Bubble Bass grabs Mermaidman by the shirt and simply takes it and chucks it throwing Mermaidman across the store.
Mermaidman, now angry, uses a bookshelf and defends himself against more Bubble Bass attacks.
MERMAIDMAN: Sea creatures attack!
Him as well as Barnacleboy send signals to fellow sea creatures.
Some jellyfish fly in but Bubble Bass shows them pictures of jellyfish jelly scaring them off.
PATRICK: I could’ve done that!
The blue jellyfish from earlier returns quickly to sting Patrick on the butt again and then books it.
SPONGEBOB: Come on guys! He’s winning!
BARNACLEBOY: Never knew that this guy was this powerful!
MERMAIDMAN: Dogpaddle away!
Mermaidman and Barnacleboy dogpaddle around Bubble Bass making the raging whirlpool but Bubble Bass steps out of the way and trips Patrick making him spin around.
PATRICK: Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! That was so fun!
BUBBLE BASS: Forget it you old has-beens, you ain’t taking down Handsome Lad 42!
MERMAIDMAN: Is this it for us Barnacleboy?
BARNACLEBOY: Seems so.
Mermaidman and Barnacleboy cower together preparing for their end since their methods proved ineffective and Bubble Bass prepares to finish them off. Spongebob puzzles and then gets an idea. He rushes out for a moment.
PATRICK: Wha..hey, Spongebob bailed! Stupid writer! That’s wrong! You stink!
The writer, you know his name, pounds Patrick’s face in.
PATRICK: Hot wings!
He then faints.
Spongebob returns with a Krabby Patty.
SPONGEBOB: Hey Bubble Bass, look what I got?!!
Bubble Bass pauses for a moment when just about to annihilate the heroes.
BUBBLE BASS: Krabby Patty? With pickles?!!
SPONGEBOB: For the price of one MM&BB - TTT!
Bubble Bass instantly gives him an extra copy.
BUBBLE BASS: Here take it, just give me my meal!
SPONGEBOB: Come get it boy!
Bubble Bass rushes forward but Spongebob, with a very sharp wit, has tricked him and the patty is a pair of super hard handcuffs.
BUBBLE BASS: Haha! Fool! I’ll just eat my way out!
Bubble Bass tries to take a bite out of the patty but realizes though that it is made out of metal, spray painted to look like the real deal.
Bubble Bass realizes that “Handsome Lad 42” was bested.
BUBBLE BASS: Poop..
The scene cuts to Bubble Bass being loaded in the squad car next to the Dirty Bubble, who decided to rob a candy store instead of play his game. They are driven off to the jail, Bubble Bass lost his employment at Nerd Store and Spongebob approaches Mermaidman and Barnacleboy.
MERMAIDMAN: You did it Spongebob! You saved us!
BARNACLEBOY: See, you didn’t need us!
SPONGEBOB: Yeah, I guess I made my own hero.
BARNACLEBOY: You sure did, you don’t need to depend upon us anymore!
SPONGEBOB: Okay… but I’ll still visit.
BARNACLEBOY: Hopefully not soon!
MERMAIDMAN: Now now, this lucky win was lucky and all but.. we still did service for you… now pay up!
SPONGEBOB: Huh,.. oh wait.. yeah.. okay.
The scene cuts to Spongebob, Mermaidman and Barnacleboy snacking on some jelly doughnuts at the Doughnut Diner.
MERMAIDMAN: I love doughnuts!
BARNACLEBOY: That you do.
SPONGEBOB: Hey, where’s Patrick?
The three heroes however do find their pink companion, who is angrily arguing with some little kids over their ice cream.
PATRICK: You give me your ice cream! Or I will uh, uhhh, I will uh, CALL YOUR PARENTS!
BOY: Ain’t listenin to a pink sketchball like you.
GIRL: Beat it conehead!
They begin bombarding Patrick with seashells.
PATRICK: Aaah! Aaah! Aaah!
The three heroes laugh until Mermaidman’s cosmetic teeth fall out. Spongebob and Barnacleboy give him a weird look.