The episode starts with Squidward standing at his desk in the Krusty Krab. He reminisces on how comfortable it is without Spongebob, but then starts freaking out about how he must get Spongebob back.
He immediately runs to a 7-Eleven where he punches the cashier and orders him to give him all the money in the cash register. The cashier tells Squidward that what he is doing is wrong and that it won't bring Spongebob back.
He then runs outside, stealing an ambulance and announcing that Bikini Bottomites need to get Spongebob back. Squidward crashes into the Krusty Krab and burns down the door to Mr. Krabs' office. Krabs is at first indifferent but then bursts into a fit about how he must get Spongebob back. Mr. Krabs asks how they will get him back, and Squidward says, "We need some WHEELS."
Squidward calls Sandy, who asks if Squidward wants to talk about Texas. He says that they must get Spongebob back, which sways Sandy to their cause. She drives her 1999 Subaru Impreza Wagon with a cow affixed to the roof out of her treedome, then off a cliff. She lands in front of the Krusty Krab, where Krabs and Squidward jump in.
Sandy drives to Patrick's house, where Patrick knows he must get Spongebob back. He gives Squidward the key, and then they all run into Spongebob's house. They go up the stairs, where they see what appears to be Spongebob under a blanket. Patrick says, "It's not him." Squidward pulls the blanket off, revealing a portal. Mr. Krabs says that they are right behind Squidward, and they jump down the portal.
They end up on Bikini Atoll where Krabs says not to look back. Squidward looks back, turning Patrick, Sandy, and Krabs to sand structures that blow away. Squidward starts freaking out before seeing a pair of black spheres in the air with water pouring out. They turn to the eyes of a giant crying Spongebob, who picks up a giant spatula and pursues Squidward. He burns Squidward with the spatula, before an unusual time card appears.
The French Narrator says, "One second later.", while the actual card says "Six hours later." Squidward is in the Krusty Krab again, demanding where the Krabby Patty is. He realizes that it has been sitting in the window all day, and the customer has left. He puts the burger down for the rats to enjoy, where Plankton is. He opens the Krabby Patty up to examine the secret formula, but sees Squidward's face. He then stabs himself in the eye, killing himself, and ending the video.
((Spoiler alert: I highly recommend you watch the video first.))
[Squidward is sitting behind the counter of the Krusty Krab.]
Squidward: Ahh, it sure is comfortable around here, now that Spongebob is gone.
[Squidward starts freaking out.]
Squidward: WE GOTTA GET SPONGEBOB BACK!! (X2)
[The scene cuts to Squidward running inside a 7-Eleven, where a cashier named Dave stands at the counter.]
Dave: Hi, can I get you anything?
[Squidward punches Dave and loads his gun.]
Squidward: Give me all the money in the cash register!
Dave: Don't do this, Squidward.
Squidward: BUT I GOTTA GET SPONGEBOB BACK!!!
Dave: You know this is wrong.
[Camera zooms in on Dave.]
Dave: You know this won't bring SpongeBob back.
[Squidward runs outside to the parking lot, stealing a parked ambulance.]
Ambulance Driver: MEIN LEIBEN
[Squidward runs over the driver's body, speeding onto the road.]
Squidward: People of Bikini Bottom!
[Camera zooms out to show the ambulance.]
Squidward: WE GOTTA GET-
[The ambulance crashes, throwing Squidward into the Krusty Krab. Squidward picks up a pipe and burns down Mr. Krabs' door.]
Squidward: MR. KRABS!!!
Mr. Krabs: Ahoy, me bucko!
Squidward: WE GOTTA GET SPONGEBOB BACK!!!
[Mr Krabs bangs his fists on his desk.]
Mr. Krabs: Argghhh! We gotta get SpongeBob back!
Squidward: We GOTTA go.
Mr. Krabs: But HOW?
Squidward: We need some WHEELS.
[Scene cuts to Sandy in her treedome lying on her hammock. Sandy's phone rings.]
Squidward: Sandy! SANDY!
Sandy: Howdy, Squidward! Wanna talk about Texas?
Squidward: WE GOTTA GET SPONGEBOB BAA-
[Sandy puts the phone down.]
Sandy: We gotta get SpongeBob back faster than a dill rabbit on a horn pickle!
[Sandy drives her 1999 Subaru Impreza Wagon with a cow on the roof and a sticker reading "TEXASS" out of her treedome. Sandy drives twirling a lasso.]
[Sandy drives off a cliff, lands in front of the Krusty Krab, picks Squidward and Mr. Krabs up, and drives down Conch Street to the row of three houses we are so familiar with.]
Patrick: I know. We gotta get Spongebob back.
[Camera zooms in on Patrick's hand.]
Patrick: Here's the key.
[Patrick and the others run into Spongebob's house. They head up the stairs into Spongebob's bedroom, where his form is under a blanket.]
Patrick: It's not him.
[Squidward pulls the blanket, revealing a portal.]
Mr. Krabs: Don't worry. We're right behind ya, lad.
[They jump down the portal to Bikini Atoll.]